Haiti

First off, let me say that I am still not completely emotionally stable after our trip to Haiti. I knew that it would be an exhausting trip and that I would not want to leave our sweet kids there. However, I really didn't know the toll it would take on me. It's been two days since I've been home and I still burst into tears randomly as I think about it (just ask the people at church this morning who got to witness it). I know that most of it is how much I miss Sammy and wish he were here with me, but the whole experience was just draining- physically and especially emotionally. As my mom so prudently put it, the week was "sensory overload"- the sights, the smells, the sounds- it all just bombarded us and I'm still working to process it all. I expected this to be a life-changing experience. It was definitely that, and more. So I'm going to attempt to describe our week as best I can. Hopefully just writing about it will help me process through it all (I really sound like a counselor now, don't I?).

We started our journey on Monday and traveled from Memphis to Port Au Prince with stops in Charlotte and Fort Lauderdale in between. The travel itself was quite uneventful and we arrived in Haiti around 3:00. However, the second we walked into the airport the chaos that is Haiti was apparent. The room in which the baggage claim and customs all took place was not very big and it was crowded with people. Most of them actually worked at the airport. There were men everywhere who would take your baggage claim number and go look for your luggage. They were all over the place and all were dressed the same, so we couldn't even tell who was "working" for us. There were several large mission groups who arrived at the same time that we did and the workers were piling their bags in different areas around the baggage claim. After about thirty minutes of us and the workers looking for our bags, we realized they weren't there. We suspected there might be an issue because we changed airlines in the middle of our journey, and sure enough- no baggage. Truthfully, I wasn't too upset about not having clothes or toiletries, but all of the goodies that we brought for the kids were in our checked luggage, so I was disappointed that I couldn't meet them bearing gifts. Finally we finished filing our claim at the baggage counter and were able to leave the airport. The second I walked out of the airport, I noticed how beautiful Haiti was. The mountains and the foliage on the island reminded me of Hawaii. However, overshadowing its beauty was the devastation. Across the street from the airport was a "tent city." Thousands upon thousands were displaced during the earthquake that happened over a year ago and many of those are still living in tents. I was prepared for this part of it because I knew that recovery was coming along very slowly, but I was not prepared for the rest. Haiti's infrastructure is non-existent. The roads are dirt, but they are not the dirt roads that we see in Arkansas. They are the kind of roads that Jeep owners seek out in order to have some fun with their toy, and we're talking about in the capital city. I thought for sure that this was a result of the earthquake as well, but we were quickly told that this was simply Haiti. Buildings are haphazardly built all over the city and up on the mountains. Piles of rubble and trash left from the earthquake lie along every street and wild pigs, goats, and dogs feast on the trash. There is no "business district", but people just sell random items at stands along the streets. I've seen poverty before, but not to this extent. Apparently 3% of the nation controls 90% of the wealth and there is no "middle class". In Haiti, you are either rich or you are poor. And when I say poor, I mean literally sleeping in a tent with dirt floors poor. We did enter some areas that had some nicer houses and restaurants, but these areas are few and far between. A good education is something that is available only to those who can afford it and some families have to choose which child(ren) they want to educate. Often it is the boys or it is the oldest child. Society is so different from America. We just never realized that when we decided to adopt these children, we were bringing them out of this. The thing is, they don't know the difference. Oh, what a shock they're in for! So, about 4:00 we finally made it to the guest house where we stayed for the week. They already had Jasmine and Sammy there waiting for us. We finally got to meet our children. Of course, mom and I both cried immediately. I'm sure Jasmine and Sammy thought we were crazy. Jasmine hugged us all and Sammy reluctantly came into my arms. It didn't take him long to warm up to me, though. By the time we fed them dinner and sat out by the pool for awhile, he and I were attached. As Jason says, Sammy likes his Daddy okay, but he loves his Mommy. Mommy feels the same way about him. Since we didn't have any of their stuff (it was all in our lost baggage), they went back to the orphanage for the night and we got some much needed rest.

Tuesday was the day we met with the attorney. She described the process to us and the steps that our paperwork would have to go through in order to finalize the adoption. I was disappointed to hear her estimation of how long it would take, as she said one to two years would be her guess. We all complain about the American bureaucracy being slow and inefficient, but apparently Haiti's is even worse. Plus, the government isn't really for out-of-country adoptions. For some reason, there is a stigma placed on families from industrialized countries wanting to adopt Haitian children. The government believes that they have ulterior motives and are exploiting the children. So, we're going to have to prove that we love these kiddos and just want to give them a good home and doing that takes time. After the attorney left, we spent the day at the guest house. This house was nice even for American standards. It had five bedrooms with bathrooms (each one housed a family that was there visiting their children), a large kitchen and dining area, and a living area where we could gather and let the kids play. Out back there was a nice pool and a shaded sitting area. So we let the kids swim and play together and visited with the other families who were there. Jasmine loves to swim but Sammy not so much. He did like sitting outside and watching the other kids though. Our luggage did show up and we got to spoil the kids! All in all, it was a relaxing day and it was great to get to know these other families. Though our friends and family have been so supportive as we've decided to go through this process, there's no way that they can truly understand it. It was great to be around people who understand the emotions, the frustration at the process, and the love that we have for these kids. We met people who have done this before and some who are in the same boat as us, but these kids bonded us all together and we had a great time together! Tuesday night was when we got to experience Sammy's "dark side". This kid can throw fits like you've never seen. He didn't want to go to bed when it was time. I suspect that it was because he was in a different place and felt insecure, but when I laid him on the bed, he screamed and kicked and turned himself in circles just thrashing about. When I finally got him calmed down, I had to rock him to sleep and then finally lay him down on the bed. After that, he slept okay. However, this was a nightly thing and we learned that this was his same reaction when he didn't get his way. So, Sammy's cute as he can be and he's sweet 95% of the time, but he's got some lungs on him and he's not afraid to use them when he's mad. It's something we'll have to work through!

Wednesday was beach day. Jasmine had only been to the beach one time and Sammy had never been, so this was quite an experience. The ride there may have been the most memorable part. All fifteen of us piled into a van not much bigger than a mini van. Apparently in Haiti, they don't believe in carseats, so we just held the kids in our laps. We drove an hour and a half in an van with no air conditioning on these crazy roads to get to the beach. Sammy loved it! He loves being in the car and he just chattered until he fell asleep. When we finally reached the beach, it was absolutely beautiful. I told Jason that with a lot of work, tourism could be a major industry here. The water was super clear and they had these beautiful cabanas with chairs underneath them where we sat and had lunch. Again, Jasmine had a great time, but Sammy wasn't a fan of the water. He was a fan of throwing rocks into the water though and we did that for a long time. We had a nice lunch and took a lot of pictures. We then traveled the hour and a half back to the guesthouse and spent the evening letting the kids play and chatting. Again, getting Sammy to sleep was a challenge, but we all slept pretty good that night.

Thursday was another field trip day. We took a trip to the Baptist Mission up in the mountains. It has a hospital, a little park, a very small area that resembled a petting zoo, an American restaurant, and a museum. Outside of the mission is a street market with all kinds of Haitian crafts and souvenirs. So, we took the kids to the little zoo area and Sammy came alive. He especially loved the monkey and just chatted with him in Creole as he giggled and banged on the cage. It was too cute! We fed the rabbits and petted the goats and he just talked to them all. Then we went to the restaurant. I think that Sammy and Jasmine were both a little overwhelmed, and rightfully so. We're talking about kids who rarely get out of the orphanage, and Sammy rarely gets out of a single room in the orphanage. There were tons of people at the restaurant, talking and eating. Jasmine grabbed on to mom and sort of hid behind her as we sat there and Sammy began one of his fits. He was only happy if he was laid on me with his head tucked under my chin. We never think about restaurants being something scary. We go all the time, almost every day in mine and Jason's case. Its such a weird feeling to put yourself in these kids' shoes. It just made me realize how much of an adjustment that they are going to have to make and how I need to be prepared to help support them in that adjustment. I guess that's what I can spent this year doing! :) Anyhow, we made it through lunch at the restaurant where Sammy ate a hot dog and two little bowls of ketchup. He loved the ketchup! He kept dipping his fingers in it and licking it off. By the time we left, he was filthy, but he had a great time. We did a little street shopping and bought some souvenirs. Jason loves that part because he loves to bargain with the vendors. We did get some good stuff, though! We rode back to the guest house to have dinner and spent the evening playing with our kids. We got to Skype with Jason's parents and Cade and Sammy got to hear each other's voices. I missed Cade oh so much but I also was so dreading leaving Sammy the next morning. I don't know if Sammy somehow knew that we were leaving the next day, but that night was not restful for any of us. He fell asleep fairly easily, but woke up and had a good thirty-minute fit. After the fit was over, he played for about an hour and a half before I could get him back to bed. Jason says he just wanted a little extra time with his Mommy. Anyway, when 5:30 AM came the next morning, both of us were completely exhausted.

Friday morning, we had to leave. Our ride was supposed to pick us up at 6:00, but we finally left the house around 7:30. Our flight was at 8:50 and it took about 30 minutes to get to the airport. So, we were a little nervous that we would even make our flight. The goodbyes were fairly hasty since we were running late, but I cried through all of that and all the way to the airport. When we got to the airport, there was a line out the door and halfway down the sidewalk. It was only 45 minutes until our flight left and I thought for sure we'd never make it. I said a quick prayer that we would make this flight and as soon as we got out of the car, we were ushered by some of those airport workers around the line and to the check-in station. We had to wait a little bit in line, but we made it to the plane in time. I don't know why we were treated such, but I know that my prayer was answered and we made it onto the flight and into the air back to the states, with me still crying.

It's been a few days and I still randomly cry. I miss Sammy so much. It was the weirdest feeling I've ever had. I wanted so much to get home to see Cade because I missed him terribly, but I wanted so much to stay there with Sammy until he could come home with me. I still feel like half of my heart is in Haiti. I realize that I've only spent four days with the child, but he's mine. God appointed him to be mine and He knew that we would fall in love with each other immediately. He's there in an orphanage where he's being cared for, but he's not getting the attention and love that I can give him. Jason and Cade and I are here at our home, but our family just doesn't feel complete anymore. God definitely confirmed that we are following Him in this adoption, but I'm thinking He's going to have a lot to teach us through this waiting process. So, that's where we are right now: waiting. I've pleaded with God and given Him all kinds of justification of why He should just perform a miracle right this second and let us go get our child. I have lots of good reasons and I know that He can do that should He choose. He's bigger than time itself and definitely bigger than the Haitian bureaucracy. I really hope that He chooses the miracle route, but I also know that His thoughts and ways are greater than mine and if we do have to wait a year or more to get this baby home, then there will be a reason for it. My prayer is that I can see Him work through this and that I'll understand His purposes in the end. My heart aches right now but I can only imagine the joy that this child will bring to our lives once this process is complete. More than anything, I'm thankful for this calling and that God is going to see us through this and shape us along the way. All praise and glory be to Him!

God Bless,
Manesseh

Gratitude

My word for the week is "gratitude." It just seems like this week has been full of events that have caused me to stop and thank God for my life and my family. It almost seems unfair that my life can be this good while so many people are going through so much. I know that God has chosen a path for each of us and He uses our experiences for His purpose, but for some of the students that I've talked to this week, life has been nothing but hard from day one. Its easy for me to understand why they are so hopeless. However, I know that God has put them in my path so that I can help them. He has also put them in my path so they can help me. This week they have helped me to be much less whiny about my life and to stop, take a breath, and count my blessings. So, here is my list of this week's realizations of what I'm thankful for. There are so many more, but here is what's on my heart.

1. I'm thankful for my parents. I'm thankful that they love me and they show it. My parents understood that when they got married, they were giving up some selfishness and when they had children, they were losing it all. Their lives became devoted to loving us, caring for us, and raising us in a way that was pleasing to God. I have such happy memories of childhood in a stable and loving family, and for that I am so grateful.

2. I'm thankful for my husband. He understands how to treat a woman and how a marriage is a partnership in which both parties contribute. There are times when he gets on my every last nerve, but he doesn't just tell me he loves me everyday, he shows me. I am married to my best friend and my partner in life and together we are creating the same type of household that I grew up in. My kids will also get to experience what stability and love means.

3. I'm thankful for my education. I had the opportunity to do anything I wanted to do. I had good teachers all the way through school who were positive and encouraging and who told me with sincerity that I could be anything I wanted to be. I got to go to college and eventually get my Master's Degree. Being an educator, I truly believe in the power of an education. Even if someone didn't come from the same background as me, education would be their way into a better life. Because of my degrees, I am in a place where I can provide the type of life I want my children to have.

4. Most of all, I'm thankful that God saved me from the life that could have been. Since I've gone to church my whole life, I can't even really imagine what life without God might look like. However, I see people every day who live that life. There is no hope in it. When crises happen, there's nowhere to turn. They turn to drugs or to hurting themselves because there is no relief from the pain. They can't ever stop thinking about how they've been hurt; there is no one there to help carry their burdens. I really don't know how they go on every day. Life is hard even for those of us who lean on God to carry us through, but at least we have the hope of Heaven and abundant joy in the process. Praise God that He is my hope and salvation- my ever present help in time of need.

Obviously, the reason that I was slapped in the face with these things is because I saw the opposite. I saw children whose parents still live in selfishness and are more concerned with themselves than their kids. I saw kids who know that their parents care more about something else than them and are looking so hard for someone to love them best that they don't hold any respect for themselves. I saw teenagers who had to experience two adults in physical combat because that is the way the "parents" believe that things should be solved in a marriage. I saw students that are so consumed with problems at home that they don't care about their education and are actually pushing away the one thing that can help them get out of that life. I saw adults and children who just have no hope for tomorrow. They are just trying to survive today and they see no light at the end of the tunnel. I saw people who have nowhere to turn.

This is what can be hard about my job, but its also what's great about it. There are times when God needs to stop me in my tracks as I am living this cushy blessed life and make me realize just what I have. Not only that, but I have a chance to help. God has put me in a position that I can be a positive influence in the lives of these kids. I can't change what has happened to them, nor can I really change their circumstances. However, I can be that person that cares. I can be that person who tells them that education can be their way out. I can work with them to help them understand what love should truly look like. Most of all, I can pray specifically for them. My childhood, my marriage, my education, and my faith have all prepared me for such a time as this. I pray every day that God will give me an opportunity to show His love and He responds every day by doing just that. I miss those opportunities a lot and I fail sometimes, but I'm given the opportunities. And for that in itself, I'm so thankful!

God Bless!

Manesseh

T Minus 8 School Days and Counting

Only eight school days left until Spring Break! Jason and I are as bad as the kids about counting down the days. This quarter is usually the one that drags out and seems forever long, but it has actually gone by pretty quickly. That could be due to the number of breaks that we got for snow days, or maybe just because my job gets so busy during this time of year. Either way, Spring Break is coming. Usually we take a ski trip, but this year we're doing something a little bit different. Okay, a lot different. We're heading to Haiti to visit the orphanage and spend some time with Sammy and Jasmine. My mom and sister and Jason and I are going to spend a few days down there. The kids will get to stay with us in the guesthouse and we can take them swimming and hopefully to the beach. Needless to say, I'm super excited to get to meet them and spend some time with them!

I haven't really processed through what I expect of the experience yet. Obviously, I know that it will be great to get to know the kids that will soon be joining our family. And I also understand that it is going to be difficult to leave there without them. However, I really haven't thought too much about what the week will be like and what we will see. I've seen lots of pictures of the orphanage and the kiddos, but I'm sure my feelings about those won't be anything close to what I'll feel when I'm there. I know that it will break my heart to think about all these children that have no parents for whatever reason- all of those children who are hoping and waiting that someone will choose them to be a part of their forever family. My husband has already told me that I can only have one because he and I both know I'll want to take more of them home. I am also sure that it will make me sad to see the conditions that they live in. It always does. Every time I've spent some time in the poor areas of Mexico, it gets to me. My family has so much and I've had so many opportunities; it always makes me feel so selfish to think that there are times when I complain and gripe about my life. However, its a humbling experience and its nice to get outside of my world every once in a while and gain a fresh understanding of how blessed I am. I fully expect to feel that way. I also fully expect to be in tears as I leave the orphanage and even hours after, especially since I won't know when I will get to see those kiddos again. I am also not sure how I'll do being away from Cade for that long. We've spent a few nights away before, but never a full week. I know he'll be in good hands with my in-laws and I'm not worried about him. I just know that I miss him for the few hours that I'm away at school during the day, so it will be really hard to be away for so many days. I'll make it though! I'm glad he gets to spend some extended time with his grandparents that he doesn't get to see often enough. Part of me wishes he could go with us and meet his brother, but I'm glad we'll get to spend some one-on-one time with Sammy and let him get to know us so that he will feel a little more comfortable when the adoption does go through.

We have made some progress with the adoption. All of the paperwork is done, certified, translated, and at its temporary home at the Haitian Consulate in Chicago. From there, we'll send it to the attorneys in Haiti and we'll wait for it to finalize through the Haitian government. We're hoping that it only takes a few months more, but there's no way to tell. Just keep praying that there won't be any snags and that we can get our kids safely and quickly. 

So, just about a week and a half and we'll be on a plane to Port au Prince. I'm excited and anxious at the same time. I can't wait to see the kids, but I am already dreading leaving them. However, more than anything I am thankful for this opportunity and for the road that God has led us down. I'm so thankful that His thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways are not my ways. I never dreamed we'd be here, but God knew!

God Bless!

Manesseh

Wild Goose Chase

In our Sunday School class, we've been studying a book called Wild Goose Chase. According to the author, Celtic Christians used to refer to the Holy Spirit as the "Wild Goose" because of how mysterious He is, but also because of the adventure that the Christian life can be when we are chasing Him. The book is about how we as Christians get complacent and bored in our walk with Christ and we lose that adventure. We often miss out on all that the Christian life can be because we are not chasing the Wild Goose. It talks about the reasons why we fail to live the adventure including our responsibilities, our assumptions, and our guilt about our past failures. The book challenges the reader to stop putting God in our own little box and start chasing the Wild Goose so that we can see what adventures God has in store and truly glorify Him with our lives. My point in saying all this is that this study really has me thinking about the possibilities. I don't think I even grasp how big God is. I've seen Him work in my life and in the lives of those around me, but I think that too often I do put God in a box that is the same size as my biggest problem. I really do feel like I am currently in the middle of God's will with my family and my career, but I think that too often I make assumptions about what the future might hold. I will say that Jason and I both had always assumed that we would have at least two children three years apart (both boys in our minds) and that we might have a third down the road. Obviously, we are not limiting God based on that assumption. However, I have also always assumed that I would be a school counselor for the rest of my career (33 more years) and that Jason and I would stay here in Alma and raise our family. That may very well be God's will for me, but there may be other things in store. That is the challenge that I am facing right now, determining what assumptions I have made about God's will and about my life and pinpointing areas in which I need to open my mind and my heart and find the courage to chase the Wild Goose. Its a thought-provoking book and a good read I might add.

Switching gears, there is some news on the adoption front. We have now completed the certification process for all of the documents that need to be submitted. They are in the translation process now and as soon as that is completed, they will go to the Haitian consulate and that part of the process will begin. My prayer is that there will be no delays and that these precious kiddos will get to come to their forever homes soon. Also, we are probably going to go visit the orphanage on Spring Break and get to spend some time with little Sammy so I'm super pumped about that! The hard part will be coming back to the United States without him! I already told Jason to prepare himself because I will cry. He told me to remember that we can only take one home. I can pick out kids for the rest of you to adopt if you want! :) Just continue to say prayers for that orphanage, for those precious kiddos, and for this adoption process- no hangups!

Thanks for all the prayers thus far. Blessings to all!

Manesseh

Loving the Snow!

So, we've had a bunch of snow this winter and Cade generally hasn't been a fan. Every time that there is snow on the ground, he makes us carry him to the car and has zero interest in touching it. So, this morning when we woke up to three or so inches of snow, I got the response I expected from him when I asked if he wanted to go play in it, "Nuh-uh. That too cold." However, after some convincing and a promise that we could make Frosty, he got excited and we went outside. At first, he just stood there. He wouldn't walk in it- he'd make us come get him and move him to where we were. He was "frozen" in the snow, no pun intended. As the snowman started coming together, he got a little more into it. By the end of our hour and a half outside, he was running in it, eating it, tackling us in it, making snow angels, and loving it. When he woke up from his nap, he wanted to go back outside. So, hopefully next time he'll be more excited. We'll see- you never know with him.

Cade, Daddy, and Frosty

Eating the snow! 

Now, we've had fun in the snow, but we're educators so snow equals going to school longer in the summer. Truthfully, neither of us are too bitter about it right now. I work later anyway and I'm not sure if I'll have to add those days on the end of my contract- probably, but oh well. I'm really enjoying all of the time home with my hubby and little man- now or later. The snow is so stinking beautiful and so much fun! I think we're going to try some sledding tomorrow. You know, you've got to take the days that God gives you to spend time with your family and make the best of them. So, that's what we're gonna do! Enjoy the snow everyone! :)

"Cade-isms"

My last few posts have been quite intense, so for all of our sakes, this one will be a lot lighter. My child is almost 2 and 1/2 and everyday he says or does things that make us laugh. Jason and I kept saying that we needed to write them down, so on our way to Pine Bluff yesterday, we made a list. The list made me laugh, so I thought I'd share a few for your enjoyment.

He loves to push the buttons and ride the "alligator", which most people refer to as an elevator.

He comes home every day and fills Charis (our dog) in on the day's activities. He tells her where he's been and what he's done.

Basketball is his favorite and after he shoots it, he yells "Three!" then he turns in a full circle and shoots it while yelling, "Three-six-e."

He has a ridiculous sense of direction and tells us which exits to take on the interstate to get to certain places. If we don't go the way he says, it is very upsetting!

He has learned to spell his name and now thinks that every word is spelled "C-A-D-E". When asked how to spell Mommy, he says "C-A-D-E, Mommy!"

After he makes a basket or runs for a touchdown, he makes us sing the Razorback fight song. Every time.

He is obsessed with all things Apple: iPods, iPhones, and iPads and can work them better than some adults. However, he refers to them all as "Bees"- not sure why.

When asked about Sammy, he says "Sammy is your brother. You share toys with him." Its as if someone has said that to him a few times!

Finally, he always refers to himself in the third person. "Cade do this, Cade see that, Cade play with toys." He used to call himself "Nade", so actually using his name is an improvement. However, when teaching him his name, I sounded I out for him so many times that when you ask him his name, he tells you it is "Cuh, cuh, Cade Moore."

He's so sweet and cute and stinking funny! I love this age so much! Can't wait till I have two of them to entertain me, because there's never a dull moment!





God bless,
Manesseh

Saying Goodbye

This week I had to say goodbye to my sweet 81 year old Grandad who went to be with the Lord on Wednesday. Fortunately in my life, I've never had to deal with death much, so this has been a whole new experience for me. It hasn't been easy, but I am so comforted by the fact that my Grandad is now with Jesus. When I found out that he was fading, my prayer was that he would go quickly and peacefully and God answered that prayer and took him just a few hours later. I watched him go, without pain and suffering, calmly and quietly, and for that I am so thankful.

I have to tell you that my Grandad was something else. He was a very kind and gentle man, a man who was prepared for anything and who analyzed everything. Every time he and my Mamaw wanted to buy a new car, it would take him two or three months to decide on which one they wanted. He wanted to make sure that he made the right decision. I really think that it was because he wanted to make sure that my Mamaw was taken care of, because she was always going to get to drive the new car and he took the old one. He was a true gentleman- a man who still opened doors for his wife, who made sure that she had a plate before filling hers, a man who peeled the potatoes for her because the arthritis in her hands made it too hard for her to do so. Even right before his death, his concern was for her. He spent his whole life making sure she was taken care of, and he accomplished his goal. His concern was for those around him and he worked hard, up to the time he went into the hospital, to make sure that his family was provided for.

My Grandad was funny and witty and he loved to joke around. I loved to see that big old smile when I'd one upped him in our banter. He'd smile and shake his head as if to say, "I give up, you win." We shared some common interests, especially in sports, and every time the Razorbacks would lose, he'd tell Jason and I that we just didn't cheer hard enough. I loved to listen to him tell stories about his days in the Army, especially while he was in Germany, and he loved to listen to me talk about my school, my job, whatever was going on. I never had a doubt in my mind that my Grandad was proud of me and that he supported me in everything I wanted to do. He was the best grandfather that a girl could ever ask for and a man that taught me a lot of things- how to be unselfish, the value of hard work, the importance of being responsible. But more than what he taught me is what he gave to me, and that was love. He was a major piece of the foundation that is my family, and the heritage that I will pass on to my children and grandchildren.

I'll miss my Grandad very much, but I know he is with Jesus. I know that I will see him again. My heart aches and probably will every time I think of him, but I am so thankful that I had the chance to know him and to love him for 28 years. I'm so thankful that God chose him to be my Grandad.

This seems like another bump on the very bumpy road our family has traveled lately. We've dealt with the long-term separation from my sister, my mother's breast cancer, the persistent longing to get those Haitian babies here, and now this. I don't say that to throw a pity party, I say that to testify to God's faithfulness. Our lives have changed, but God's faithfulness has not. He has been there in the mountains and in the valleys. He has strengthened me when I felt I had no strength, He has comforted me in my tears, He has given me peace when I've questioned Him as to why. His character has not changed. A friend reminded me the other day that we still serve the same God that was with David as he slew Goliath. He's the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow and I am thankful for that stability. I want to use these experiences to help other people. I can't guarantee that I can talk to you about any of this without tears, but I will talk. I've already seen God use these things for good and I look forward to seeing how He'll use them in the future.

Saying goodbye is hard, but its much easier when comforted by the fact that my Grandad is sitting with Jesus. Oh what a glorious day, and thanks to His sweet grace, our separation is not permanent. I'll see my Grandad again and together we'll praise our holy and glorious God for eternity.

God bless,

Manesseh