Saying Goodbye

This week I had to say goodbye to my sweet 81 year old Grandad who went to be with the Lord on Wednesday. Fortunately in my life, I've never had to deal with death much, so this has been a whole new experience for me. It hasn't been easy, but I am so comforted by the fact that my Grandad is now with Jesus. When I found out that he was fading, my prayer was that he would go quickly and peacefully and God answered that prayer and took him just a few hours later. I watched him go, without pain and suffering, calmly and quietly, and for that I am so thankful.

I have to tell you that my Grandad was something else. He was a very kind and gentle man, a man who was prepared for anything and who analyzed everything. Every time he and my Mamaw wanted to buy a new car, it would take him two or three months to decide on which one they wanted. He wanted to make sure that he made the right decision. I really think that it was because he wanted to make sure that my Mamaw was taken care of, because she was always going to get to drive the new car and he took the old one. He was a true gentleman- a man who still opened doors for his wife, who made sure that she had a plate before filling hers, a man who peeled the potatoes for her because the arthritis in her hands made it too hard for her to do so. Even right before his death, his concern was for her. He spent his whole life making sure she was taken care of, and he accomplished his goal. His concern was for those around him and he worked hard, up to the time he went into the hospital, to make sure that his family was provided for.

My Grandad was funny and witty and he loved to joke around. I loved to see that big old smile when I'd one upped him in our banter. He'd smile and shake his head as if to say, "I give up, you win." We shared some common interests, especially in sports, and every time the Razorbacks would lose, he'd tell Jason and I that we just didn't cheer hard enough. I loved to listen to him tell stories about his days in the Army, especially while he was in Germany, and he loved to listen to me talk about my school, my job, whatever was going on. I never had a doubt in my mind that my Grandad was proud of me and that he supported me in everything I wanted to do. He was the best grandfather that a girl could ever ask for and a man that taught me a lot of things- how to be unselfish, the value of hard work, the importance of being responsible. But more than what he taught me is what he gave to me, and that was love. He was a major piece of the foundation that is my family, and the heritage that I will pass on to my children and grandchildren.

I'll miss my Grandad very much, but I know he is with Jesus. I know that I will see him again. My heart aches and probably will every time I think of him, but I am so thankful that I had the chance to know him and to love him for 28 years. I'm so thankful that God chose him to be my Grandad.

This seems like another bump on the very bumpy road our family has traveled lately. We've dealt with the long-term separation from my sister, my mother's breast cancer, the persistent longing to get those Haitian babies here, and now this. I don't say that to throw a pity party, I say that to testify to God's faithfulness. Our lives have changed, but God's faithfulness has not. He has been there in the mountains and in the valleys. He has strengthened me when I felt I had no strength, He has comforted me in my tears, He has given me peace when I've questioned Him as to why. His character has not changed. A friend reminded me the other day that we still serve the same God that was with David as he slew Goliath. He's the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow and I am thankful for that stability. I want to use these experiences to help other people. I can't guarantee that I can talk to you about any of this without tears, but I will talk. I've already seen God use these things for good and I look forward to seeing how He'll use them in the future.

Saying goodbye is hard, but its much easier when comforted by the fact that my Grandad is sitting with Jesus. Oh what a glorious day, and thanks to His sweet grace, our separation is not permanent. I'll see my Grandad again and together we'll praise our holy and glorious God for eternity.

God bless,

Manesseh